New Blog :)

http://analiselaughs.wordpress.com

As much as I love blogger, I have moved on to a cleaner site :)  So, follow me at wordpress or just check for updates!

Moving Forward

So, I moved from the house I was living at in Cedar Falls (The Quarter Deck is what it was called) and have moved into an apartment with three of my good friends.  The only problem was that I was living all by myself for essentially two whole months.  And they were a long two months.  It didn't really feel like home all by my lonesome...  This Wednesday one of my awesome roommates (Sam) moved in!  And now this place that was just an apartment has become a home!  We have a rad plaid couch, love seat combo, a love sac (my personal fave!) and some other random seats.  A wonderful coffee table and side table set and an amazing tv (HD!).

Living room!

It isn't those things that make it a home though.  The best thing is living with someone.  You don't have to talk or go out or anything.  Some time the change is just having someone there so you aren't completely alone all the time.  And for me, living alone for so long was pretty hard.  I love being around people.  Growing up, I loved to hang out with my brothers and my mom.  Even to this day I call (or mom calls) a couple times a day.  I did a lot of reading when I was alone.  Which I don't mind at all.  But I like being able to share what I read with another person.

So, I guess I like living with people :)  It's great to experience living alone.  But people are awesome!!

Kitchen!

Oooh.... and I'm also taking two classes!  I'm enrolled in Introduction to Philosophy (should be fascinating!) and Introduction to Film (I'm a movie junkie anyway!  Might as well take the class and explore some more unique films!).  Needless to say I'm excited for the turn my life has changed.   I get to live with awesome people.  I have a job with people that are awesome.  I get to take some cool classes that I think I will love!  :)

I love this board :)

analiselaughs

Inevitable Change

            For the last five months, I have successfully taken one picture every day.  An accomplishment I am quickly growing more proud of by the day.  The fact that I have been able to stick with this for so long has also convinced me that I can change the way that I live.  I can quit drinking pop.  I can eat healthier food.  I can exercise.  I just have to put my mind and my heart to it.

            On top of the fact that I can commit to something, I have also learned that I love clouds.  You never realize how much you love something until you find yourself always looking at one thing in awe.  I also love looking up into the trees when they are a rich dark green and a beautiful blue sky is peppered in between the leaves.  I’m drawn to words (obviously) and I love old things. I have grown closer with people who I never thought I would grow close to and I have also inspired at least one other person to start their own photo project.

             By no means is this easy.  I am still no photographer.  But the more photos I take, the more I inevitably learn about myself.  If taking a picture a day can be done, then I can also go for a walk.   Read a book.  Take a class.  Get good grades.  I can make the life that I want to live.  It is just a matter of simply setting my mind to it.

            I am thankful that my mom talked me into doing this.  It took some time for me to realize how far I have come.  Only seven months left.  Five down is quite a feat in itself.  But I will complete this.  I don’t see a reason not to.  And who knows what else I will learn about the world and myself along the way?  

Let the rain wash away your fears for tomorrow is always a new day.

--AnaliseLaughs

Hope is the dream of a man awake

Do you ever get lost in life?  You lose your purpose and feel the future bearing down on you?  I felt like that for quite sometime.  It wasn't until the other day when I went home and my mom handed me a small folded up sheet of paper.

As I looked down at it, I was rather perplexed as to what it was.  My mom than informed me that the library had found it tucked away in a book and had given it to one of my old teachers who had mailed it to my parent's house.  And here it lay now, cradled carefully in my hands.

I'm sure at this point you want to know what words are scribbled upon this sheet that are so moving and inspirational to me.  Are they notes passes among friends about who the cutest boys are?  Are they dreams scratched down in hopes that by putting them on paper they will come true someday?  Is it a drawing of something?   Is it my name entangled with a crushes last name with girly hearts everywhere?

No.

It is simply a poem.  A poem that I stumbled upon in middle school.  The title is no where to be found.  All I know is that the intrigue for me lay in the poem itself.  Not only for the fact that it contained my rather uncommon first name.

 

 The words found a way to connect with me even at a rather young age.  When the words found me again, the effect was profound.  That girl that I have been searching for seemed to slide right back into my very veins.  That trickle of passion and life became a waterfall of emotion corroding my lack of ambition away.  The air seems brisker.  The sun catches my eye (when it is given the chance to shine!) and best of all, my smile feels genuine again. 

How can such a sad, forlorn poem evoke such a change though?  Especially a change that has been alluding me for well over a year now.  This fact escapes me at the moment.  It may choose to escape me forever more.  But who I am to question a great change?  Who am I to mind?  At least now I have my voice back.  

The clouds hang thick as with despair

An om'nous feel, I can not share

Her ruddy cheeks, her matchless face

Doth vanish now without a trace

Walls of shadow, forward flowing

To end her life, end my knowing

of my darling Analise

As sty'gan darkness fills the room

The evil comes to hark the doom

The clouds hang thick as with despair

An om'nous feel, I can not share

Her ruddy cheeks, her matchless face

Doth vanish now without a trace

Walls of shadow, forward flowing

To end her life, end my knowing 

of my darling Analise

As sty'gan darkness fills the room

The evil comes to hark the doom

I cry "Retreat thee from my sight!

Advance no more thy demon's flight!"

But still they come, her soul to take

My bond of love, with life to break

From my only Analise

AnaliseLaughs

The Best.

I am crazy.
I am FUN.
I am emotional.
I am loyal.
I am a friend.
I am a romantic.
I am a writer.

I love the little things in life.
A smile towards me. A glance my way. I love waking to the sun rising and the birds singing.

See me as who I am.

Unfinished.

These last couple of days have been days of reflection for me. I really am beginning to enjoy blogging. The idea of putting an idea out there for people to read intrigues me. On top of that it seems to help me to sort out my problems. I have a problem dealing with hard situations and I almost always bottle them up.

Tonight, for the first time in a while, I want to cry. I want to sit here in my bed and sob all night long. I want to shed tears for Wade, Haley, Carmen, Pat, Ruth, Robert, Molly. Anyone I have ever lost in my life. At the same time I want to live for Wade, Haley, and Molly. They lost the chance to live and I feel like I should catch hold of life and live it as fully as possible. The problem is that I am afraid. I am afraid of living. We all are. Some of us face it head on with courage and strength and others cower in fear and live in the shadows. I am ready to emerge from the shadows fighting head on. I want to be seen. I want to be strong. I want to be an inspiration. Not only to myself but to other people also. I want to be the light that guides someone through a difficult patch.

The Lateness of the Night

This is just me reaching out to the world. Don't leave what you can do today for tomorrow. A great saying. I'm going to point out something else true with this. That is about procrastinating. About anything. What I want you to think about is how you are procrastinating with the happiness you could have in your life. If you choose to do something, do it because you truly desire to. I am begging this of you. You do not know what tomorrow holds. That chance that you take today could make a world of difference for you for the rest of your life. I wonder if my cousin, Wade, had and regrets because he chose to not do something. He will never know and neither will I because he died in a drunk driving accident. For some reason, he has been in my mind for the last week or two. His life has helped to change mine.


LIVE FOR TODAY.


Not tomorrow.