Hope is the dream of a man awake

Do you ever get lost in life?  You lose your purpose and feel the future bearing down on you?  I felt like that for quite sometime.  It wasn't until the other day when I went home and my mom handed me a small folded up sheet of paper.

As I looked down at it, I was rather perplexed as to what it was.  My mom than informed me that the library had found it tucked away in a book and had given it to one of my old teachers who had mailed it to my parent's house.  And here it lay now, cradled carefully in my hands.

I'm sure at this point you want to know what words are scribbled upon this sheet that are so moving and inspirational to me.  Are they notes passes among friends about who the cutest boys are?  Are they dreams scratched down in hopes that by putting them on paper they will come true someday?  Is it a drawing of something?   Is it my name entangled with a crushes last name with girly hearts everywhere?

No.

It is simply a poem.  A poem that I stumbled upon in middle school.  The title is no where to be found.  All I know is that the intrigue for me lay in the poem itself.  Not only for the fact that it contained my rather uncommon first name.

 

 The words found a way to connect with me even at a rather young age.  When the words found me again, the effect was profound.  That girl that I have been searching for seemed to slide right back into my very veins.  That trickle of passion and life became a waterfall of emotion corroding my lack of ambition away.  The air seems brisker.  The sun catches my eye (when it is given the chance to shine!) and best of all, my smile feels genuine again. 

How can such a sad, forlorn poem evoke such a change though?  Especially a change that has been alluding me for well over a year now.  This fact escapes me at the moment.  It may choose to escape me forever more.  But who I am to question a great change?  Who am I to mind?  At least now I have my voice back.  

The clouds hang thick as with despair

An om'nous feel, I can not share

Her ruddy cheeks, her matchless face

Doth vanish now without a trace

Walls of shadow, forward flowing

To end her life, end my knowing

of my darling Analise

As sty'gan darkness fills the room

The evil comes to hark the doom

The clouds hang thick as with despair

An om'nous feel, I can not share

Her ruddy cheeks, her matchless face

Doth vanish now without a trace

Walls of shadow, forward flowing

To end her life, end my knowing 

of my darling Analise

As sty'gan darkness fills the room

The evil comes to hark the doom

I cry "Retreat thee from my sight!

Advance no more thy demon's flight!"

But still they come, her soul to take

My bond of love, with life to break

From my only Analise

AnaliseLaughs

The Best.

I am crazy.
I am FUN.
I am emotional.
I am loyal.
I am a friend.
I am a romantic.
I am a writer.

I love the little things in life.
A smile towards me. A glance my way. I love waking to the sun rising and the birds singing.

See me as who I am.

Unfinished.

These last couple of days have been days of reflection for me. I really am beginning to enjoy blogging. The idea of putting an idea out there for people to read intrigues me. On top of that it seems to help me to sort out my problems. I have a problem dealing with hard situations and I almost always bottle them up.

Tonight, for the first time in a while, I want to cry. I want to sit here in my bed and sob all night long. I want to shed tears for Wade, Haley, Carmen, Pat, Ruth, Robert, Molly. Anyone I have ever lost in my life. At the same time I want to live for Wade, Haley, and Molly. They lost the chance to live and I feel like I should catch hold of life and live it as fully as possible. The problem is that I am afraid. I am afraid of living. We all are. Some of us face it head on with courage and strength and others cower in fear and live in the shadows. I am ready to emerge from the shadows fighting head on. I want to be seen. I want to be strong. I want to be an inspiration. Not only to myself but to other people also. I want to be the light that guides someone through a difficult patch.

The Lateness of the Night

This is just me reaching out to the world. Don't leave what you can do today for tomorrow. A great saying. I'm going to point out something else true with this. That is about procrastinating. About anything. What I want you to think about is how you are procrastinating with the happiness you could have in your life. If you choose to do something, do it because you truly desire to. I am begging this of you. You do not know what tomorrow holds. That chance that you take today could make a world of difference for you for the rest of your life. I wonder if my cousin, Wade, had and regrets because he chose to not do something. He will never know and neither will I because he died in a drunk driving accident. For some reason, he has been in my mind for the last week or two. His life has helped to change mine.


LIVE FOR TODAY.


Not tomorrow.

Summer Loving.

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I love it when the flowers start to bloom! They are so beautiful. Today one of my best friends (Megan) came up to UNI to spend time with me and my other best friend Lauren. We had a fun photo shoot! The weather is perfect right now. It makes me want to live outside!

The University of Northern Iowa has such a beautiful campus! I do not regret my choice to come up here at all! The only problem I have is during the winter and that is only because it is so cold!

My friend Megan just got the cutest haircut and I got a great picture! I swear that sometimes she could be America's Next Top Model!

On another note, I am discovering a new sense of fashion. I feel like a flower child! I'm loving it! I love shirts that flow and are really light! My friend Lauren got some good ones (I think!).

Have a great day everyone!

Half-Masted 3.2

If anyone wants to know you should all attempt to come to UNI this weekend. Half-Masted 3.2 Improv troupe with be putting on a fabulous show! The shows will be on Friday at 7:30* pm, and two shows on Saturday at 3:30 and 7:30* pm. It will be hilarious. You should bring an extra pair of pants and socks with you because you might just laugh them off! You should also come because I am part of this spectacular group!


Okay. Have a puntacular day!


*These two shows will not be family friendly but the 3:30 show is.

Get Out Alive.

It seems so weird to be writing so much again. I haven't written the way that I have for the last couple of weeks for a long time. I missed it. My fingers, my heart, my soul missed it. I did not realize this until it was back in my life. The same for reading. I forgot how to live in the simple moments of life. They were lost to me. Lost in a sea of caring so much for other people that I almost lost who I was. I am glad to have a chance to find myself again. The opportunity to finally figure out what actually makes me happy. What makes me cry, what makes me angry. I depend so much on other people and what they like and how they feel that often I have a hard time deciding for myself. It is time to find out who Analise actually is. Am I a writer? Am I a teacher? Am I a failure? No. I am a student. I am a person. I am a vivacious person who cares deeply about the people around her. But I am sick of getting lost in the crowd. I am sick of being brushed aside like I mean nothing. I am ready to be heard. I am ready to make my mark on this world. Now what about you? What are you ready to do? I hope you are ready to do something. I am here for you if you need anything. I don't want to be the five-minute friend. I want to be a lifelong friend. Give me that chance.