Tonight students, you are going to learn about CVS. I want to share and help everyone to understand what CVS is and how it impacts my life. To start off CVS is literally Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome. Basically it is cycles of uncontrollable vomiting. For me, I am sick almost every week for one whole day. During my "attack", I tend to sleep and I can get REALLY crabby. I can sleep after being sick for 10 hours. That is only an overview of what it is. The facts that stick out best in my mind. If you want to learn more click on CVS!
A good friend of mine has dubbed it the "Vomit Comet." I personally think that it is a better name than CVS. Now, my take on it.
It scares me. Every day that I am sick is another day full of moments that are lost to me. A day full of puking, being scared, being alone, being ignored. On some days, I wish that someone would stay with me. Mostly I wish that I wasn't sick at all. Sometimes, I hope that someone would take my place for one day. To see the hell that I actually go through. I loathe it when people say "oh, she is fine." I am not fine. I am scared. Some people don't understand or actually know what is wrong with me. It is fun when they realize how often I am sick and then I get the wonderful "Are you bulimic?" conversation. Imagine that. Being sick on a regular basis and running out of options. The fact that I may have to live with this for the rest of my life haunts me every day. I wake up in the mornings terrified if today is the day that I am going to be sick. Questions rush through my head. Will I puke once? Twice? How long will it last? Will I sleep all day? What am I missing out on? I want so bad for everything to be okay. That is why I act the way I do. The reason I brush it off like it is nothing. Because I hope that by doing so, it will go away. Vanish like smoke in the breeze. I pray that it will go away. People tell me "Well, if you can live with it." I don't want to live with it. I want a normal life. I want to wake up each day and not worry about what I might be missing today. Cyclic vomiting syndrome. CVS. The curse that I have been given. Please, go away. Leave me alone. (The Vomit Comet, not my readers!)
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Analise Laughs.
This is a more recent picture of me...
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I have seen firsthand the effects of CVS. The hours of vomiting - even when there is nothing in her to throw up; continuous heaving (even of sips of water); the frightened look in her eyes; the tears; the hours and days lost. Sometimes the episodes are brought on by stress or anxiety but in the past couple of years the frequency has increased and seem to be caused by well... nothing. I know this because I have watched my daughter suffer through it for years. We will help find a cure!
ReplyDeleteI love you Lise - love Mom
I'm so sorry Analise!!! I didn't know you had this problem!! I hope that you can find a cure or something to help you! Hugs!
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, I did not know you had that problem, I am so very sorry :( :( What an awful thing to suffer through! I am so sorry :( {{{HUGS}}}
ReplyDeleteMy dearest friend...
ReplyDeleteI never knew you were so scared about this all. This truly is one of those things that you should give to God 100%. It is hard to do this trust me, I have had lots of problems but when I do decide to be vulnerable all fears go away because I'm now in the hands of the man who is my father and who holds the universe!!! Please be honest with the people closest to you about this because when you take this on all by yourself it will consume you.
I'm here for ya.
Loves ya : ) L*
I half-know what you're talking about. This sounds incredibly rough, whatever I have doesn't last nearly that long. But hey, at least you know what it is now! And now you know what acronym to write on something before you kick the crap out of it.
ReplyDelete-Naybor